


Moreos ― Miloe's "oreos"

by SunflowerZombieMouse



Category: Original Work
Genre: because it was fun!, but you know what why not, i'm honestly not sure why i'm sharing it here?, it was a lot of fun, no beta we die like men ― unprepared and useless, this is literally just what i did for a cookie recipe, you should have fun with it too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 08:33:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17097356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunflowerZombieMouse/pseuds/SunflowerZombieMouse
Summary: Stick the minty bowl under your poor unsuspecting brother's nose and laugh at his sudden misery because that is a VERY STRONG SMELL OF MINT.





	Moreos ― Miloe's "oreos"

**Author's Note:**

> This (the cookie recipe) happened because my family is holding a caroling party and we decided to make a buttload of cookies for it. Moreos were one of the cookies that were made.  
> Also, their original name is "Santa's sandwiches" but because they came out sO DAMN MINTY we decided to call them something else. My dad suggested "christmas death cookies", partly because he doesn't like mint and partly because . . . well, pretty much 'cause he doesn't like mint. My mom said we should call them "Moreos" because they're basically oreos, and my name starts with M.

MOREO COOKIES

WHAT YOU NEED:  
1 1/4 c. flour                                              1/2 c. unsweetened cocoa powder  
3/4 tsp. baking soda                                  1/4 tsp. salt  
1/2 c. (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened    1 egg  
1/2 tsp. vanilla                                           1/4 tsp. mint extract

WHAT YOU DO:  
Get the flour, cocoa, baking soda, and salt into a bowl and stir, then put aside. In a bigger bowl, pour in the sugar and butter. Repeatedly stab the butter until you say “fuck it” and use a hand held blender. Be told the butter isn’t soft enough because bits of it are flying against the bowl and that’s rather concerning because what if you lose all the butter? Then say “fuck it” again and keep going with the hand held blender. When the butter and sugar are thoroughly beaten and wishing for death, beat the egg in. Get up and look for the mint extract when you realize you forgot it. Find it in a box for cake decorations. Sit back down and pry open the lid that wants to stay closed and keep all the extract inside. Hold the measuring spoon over the bowl, and pour the mint into it, not realizing that there is nothing stopping it from splooshing out with _far too much of it_ and making the whole kitchen smell like cough medicine (according to your mother). Wheeze at the strong smell. Then sit in indecision for a moment while you talk about what to do next with your mother. Decide to double the recipe, and dump in a whole lot more vanilla to compensate. Stick the bowl under your unsuspecting brother’s nose for him to smell, wheeze, and cough at in bewildered surprise. Laugh at his momentary misery and explain what happened. Then repeat the motions before you spilled so much MINT. After everything has been doubled, slowly pour the dry mix into the wet mix and get the hand held beater, then realize you should probably wash the prongs of it. Then decide you want to use a spoon instead. Think, as you always do, that shouldn’t it be less dry? as you stir. Then, because you’re going to be out of the house in the four hours the recipe wants you to put the dough in the fridge for, decide to leave it in overnight. Ask someone else to wrap it up for you because by now you’re getting ready to leave.  
    When you go back to the kitchen the next day, start the frosting. Be chastised by your mother to get the cookies in the oven because you can’t exactly but it on them while they’re unbaked or still hot, can you? Then pull the dough out of the fridge, clear a space and grab a butter knife to cut it into squares. Realize the plastic wrapped dough log looks uncomfortably like poop and say as such to your sister, who is painting sugar cookies next to you. Decide to get a sharper knife to cut the dough with when the butter knife is not very good at it. Argue with your sister about rolling it out and using cookie cutters instead of the knife. Get up and turn the oven to 375º when you realize you forgot to do it beforehand. Get up again to get the cookie sheets the recipe asks for. Get up again to rinse the first cookie sheet so it doesn’t have dried flour on it anymore. Re-cut the dough to be better squares. Get the first batch of cookies in the oven and start cutting more dough. Argue with your sister again about rolling and cookie cutters vs. knives (at this point it’s more the principle of it than anything). Yelp and get up in a hurry when you realize you forgot to set a timer, and rush to see how the cookies are. They look fine. You set the timer for 4 minutes, because the recipe calls for 8 to 10, and it feels like it’s been six or so minutes since they went in. Go back to the table and cut the rest of the dough. Sneak some bits of cookie dough when your mother isn’t in the room (at some point you and your sister both sneak some frosting, too. It’s pretty good). When all the cookie squares have gotten out of the oven, someone puts them into a container. Test how the baked ones taste with the frosting (you put orange extract into the frosting) with your mother. Decide to start the frosting over because the orange and the mint are competing too much.

MOREO FROSTING

WHAT YOU NEED:  
5 c. powdered sugar                1 c. (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened  
4 Tbsp. milk                            1 tsp. mint extract a bunch of vanilla extract  
Food coloring of your choice

WHAT YOU DO:  
Dump the butter into a bowl, then the powdered sugar, milk, and vanilla. Repeatedly stab at the butter and wonder if maybe you should have gotten a bigger bowl because the sugar is getting dangerously close to the edge. Shrug and decide to just stir very carefully. Keep stabbing the butter until it gets softer and the rest of it starts mixing together. Consider getting the hand held beater, but decide against it. Reject your sister’s offer of help phrased as a request. Keep stabbing. Deny the request again and tell her that she stole the last bowl of frosting, this one is yours, HUMPH. Decide to use just red frosting, but then think that it looks more pink than red. Add in a food dye made by a different company and proudly declare you have killed someone when some of the dye gets onto your fingers. Wiggle your now-red-vaguely-pinkish fingers for proof. Repeatedly sneak some of the frosting. Decide that maybe next time you do this you’re going to forego the second red dye because it adds an odd aftertaste to the frosting. Decide the frosting looks more pink than red still but that’s okay.

After both the cookies and frostings are done, get a platter and a little spatula (the ones used to spread stuff, not the ones used to cook stuff). Make little sandwiches with the cookies and frosting and put them onto the platter. Stuff one sandwich with maybe too much frosting and set it aside for your friend, who hates pink.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are love!
> 
> also i know that it's going to shit but you can find me on tumblr at miloe.tumblr.com ~~the link wouldnt work~~


End file.
